Retired Presidents Meet Up
Former Andrews University President Niels-Erik Andreasen and Former U.S. President Barack Obama were spotted vacationing together in the British Virgin Islands. The duo were soaking up the sun on Necker Island, a property owned by billionaire Richard Branson! Both presidents were accompanied by their beloved wives and families. Fellow beachgoers were surprised that both men had managed to keep their bodies in such good shape during their presidencies.
With all the vacationing Obama and Andreasen are doing together they’ve become closer. What happened to Joe Biden? Has Obama forgotten those who were shooting hoops with him in the gym? It seems like he left his pal on “read” so that he could zoom off to a distant world with his new bestie to talk of things only presidents know of. This leaves a Mean Girls-esque taste in my mouth, like when Regina George started hanging out with Cady Heron, and totally kicked Gretchen Weiners to the curb. I can sympathize with my boy Joe Biden…. All he ever wanted was to be loved. After all, he’s one reason why Obama plays basketball so well.
In addition to enjoying the tropical weather on Necker Island, former President Andreasen also competed in the annual Pacific Union College “Angwin to Angwish’” race, where he was putting his fellow senior citizens to shame when he won his age group (70-75 year olds). Wow—can you believe him? He’s really out here proving that old people don’t always get stunted with osteoporosis, and aren’t immediately shipped off to nursing homes once they can no longer make freshly baked cookies for their families anymore. Perhaps we should look up to him, since he’s the sole leader in the Seventh-day Adventist community breaking all these stereotypes.
Students React to News of Andreasen’s Vacation with Obama:
“I am so shook! Two of the greatest presidents of all time have been spotted vacationing together. They both should take a nice, long stroll together on the beach, ” Pepisiwe Moyo (sophomore, medical laboratory sciences) said.
“This is the reward of being a president who holds down his territory through thick and thin… you get to travel to the private beaches that are owned by billionaires. Meanwhile, the only ‘private’ beach students get to visit is Warren Dunes, at night when no one is there. To be honest, I wish I could be there to join them, but sadly I have O-Chem and Cell Molecular homework. How come they get to have all the fun? I should switch my major to Pre-President if that’s the reward,” Thembi Ndebele (sophomore, biotechnology) said.
“Oh, that’s why he left so fast! Andrews University was just a ploy for him to get closer to Obama...I swear I’ve seen him in a ‘Yes We Can’ T-shirt,” Jameeka Williams (freshman, history) said.
Andrea Luxton would never. *sips tea*
*An article from the April Fool's Issue. Don't take anything in this issue too seriously.