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Cameras in Microwaves and Ferns, Oh My!

Cameras in Microwaves and Ferns, Oh My!

    In a recent interview with The Student Movement, Christon R. Thure, a close friend of Andrews University President Andrea Luxton, reiterated a suspected infiltration of President Luxton’s office by the previous university administration.

           Two weeks ago, the Office of President Luxton tweeted the shocking, unsupported allegation that former Andrews University President Niels-Erik Andreasen ordered surveillance of Luxton during the 2016 fall semester. Luxton now reports that her office has obtained hard evidence corroborating her claims.

           On Friday, March 31, Luxton heard a camera shutter sound from the plant in the corner of her office. When she checked the base of her potted fern, she found a Camera with a Canon 5200mm F/14 Mirror Lens.

Several people questioned the safety of not only members of Andrews University administration but other students and faculty. One such individual is Camille Depluzer (senior, wellness).

Depluzer said, “This is outrageous! I feel so unsafe now. Our school has to have a good explanation for this.”

           After this incident, several students reported hearing camera shutter sounds in their dorm rooms. The speculations were affirmed by President Luxton, who admitted to hearing the shutter sounds again. After further investigation, it was charged that President Andreasen used microwaves across campus to spy on Luxton.

           Students who had microwaves were quick to respond about the incident.

Sylvia Romilus (senior, wellness) said, “The shutter sound woke me up from my sleep. At first I thought it was usual Lamson surveillance, but then I saw a flash of light come from my microwave. I soon realized that my microwave had been turned into a camera!”

           Several students posted on social media describing a hidden button on their microwave labeled “espionage”. One student, Gabrielle Johnson (sophomore, nursing), pressed this hidden button and then described what took place next.

    Johnson said, “When I pressed the ‘espionage’  button nothing happened at first. But when I came back to my room, my microwave had turned into a DSLR camera and it was taking pictures nonstop!”

     All over campus, people were making reports of their microwaves turning into cameras and students continued to question their safety on campus.

           In a sign of defiance against Andreasen’s malicious acts, Luxton threw the microwave in her office out of her office window. In addition, she requested that Plant Services staff remove all microwaves from several buildings across campus. In order to ensure their safety, Luxton has proposed that students follow her example, and throw their microwaves out of their windows.

The Student Movement will report further information about these incidents as it becomes available.

 

*An article from the April Fool's Issue. Don't take anything in this issue too seriously.

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