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You Can’t Hurry Love

You Can’t Hurry Love

This Valentine’s Day, I sat down with one of the classically iconic student couples on the Andrews University campus—Danni Francis and Kevvin Thaw—to discuss the ins and outs of their relationship, with hopes and intentions of drawing out the truths about what makes a relationship thrive.

 

 

Name: Danni Francis

Class Standing: Senior

Major: English

 

 

What is your definition of respect in a relationship?

I think a general rule of thumb would be the Golden Rule. Do to your partner what you would like them to do for you.

 

What are the difficulties of living in a different residence hall?

Kevvin and I went to a boarding high school. We've been living in separate residence halls for all of our relationship. We know no different. So it's fine.

 

Has there been a difference dating in college and high school?

In high school there were more restrictions on when we could and couldn't see each other. In college it was like there is way more freedom to spend time together. No one has to sign us off campus to go out together.

 

What are some ways that you have noticed change throughout your relationship?

We started dating when I was 15 and he was 16. Kevvin always jokes that he has been the same way since middle school. He's right. He was always really mature and levelheaded. Some of his ideas have shifted over time and he has more experiences now, but by and large he's the same person. However I personally feel I’ve matured a lot over the years.

 

What is the most romantic thing he has done for you?

Kevv surprises me with different things every so often. I don't know that there is one gesture that stands out above the rest but he writes me poetry consistently. I really enjoy that. He's pretty good.

 

 

Name: Kevvin Thaw

Class Standing: Senior

Major: Psychology

 

 

What is the most important thing a relationship?

I honestly don’t know, but a very important thing is emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is understanding what you feel and why you feel it. With emotional intelligence problem-solving is optimized.

 

Do you think your girlfriend should be treated any different on Valentine's Day?

No I don’t. Danni and I don’t acknowledge Valentine’s Day as much as other people do, honestly. I try my best to treat her special as often as possible. It’s easy to treat her special when you feel like doing it, so I channel my energy into showing affection when I don’t really feel like it. Words of affirmation and touch are things that she appreciates, so that’s something I focus on.

What was the main thing that made you fall for Danni?
I didn’t fall for her; falling is an accident. If the question is more focused towards what attracted me to her, she was different than the girls around me. They seemed to be worried about the wrong thing. Danni has always been a very focused individual.

What are some tips to make your special someone happy?
This question assumes that it’s my job to keep her happy. It’s not my job to keep her happy; neither is it her job to do that for me. So the best tip I can give here is have that person’s best interest at heart. There are certain responsibilities each person has that won’t always beget happiness. I try to focus on improvement. Keeping people happy leaves one susceptible to being either taken advantage of, or enabling your significant other. Which in turn can produce destructive patterns that you could have brought light to but were too busy trying to make them happy.

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