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Christmas Junkies Anonymous

Christmas Junkies Anonymous

    “Hello, my name is Pheonix and I’m a Christmas junkie.”
    (This is where you say, “Hi, Pheonix,” and then chuckle to yourself. Don’t worry; CJA is a judgment-free zone! On the other hand, I cannot guarantee the people around you will commit to that as well.)

I listen to Christmas music all through December and well beyond. I watch a few Christmas movies throughout the year, especially in the summer. And I’m not alone. Just a few weeks ago, I did a considerable amount of jamming out to “Feliz Navidad.” It was October, which did nothing to stop our harmonies, a couple head bangs and a cha-cha.

    I love Christmas—it’s the most wonderful time of the year! Everyone seems happier and more relaxed. The increasing chill outside only makes the inside cozier, with the fuzzy socks and the quilts and the mugs full of warm liquid. Plus there’s the massive influx of hell-freezing-over jokes to look forward to. The lights make the snow bearable, even magical.

A friend of mine’s boyfriend says Christmas should stick to one week. No music, no movies, no decorations—nothing. I cried. Who could despise Christmas so much that they would cut out the first 5 days of the song? A cheap true love, that’s who! No turtle doves, no golden rings, not even the partridge in a pear tree! But maybe he’s onto something.
    Do you remember Toy Story? That movie shaped my childhood—my very nature, even. I developed this strict sense of fairness concerning inanimate things such as toys and food and holidays that I carry with me to this day. Even though it’s absolutely loony to think so, I believe Thanksgiving is sad when we ignore it. It is the middle child of holidays; while Halloween gets attention and privileges, and Christmas is spoiled rotten, everyone forgets about Thanksgiving. All it has is food, but every holiday has food! Over the years, the poor thing has learned to sit quietly in the corner with a book and a set of headphones. In solidarity, I flee from all things Christmas from the first of November through Thanksgiving Day.

By no means is that one week—it leaves about 30 days every year for unabashed celebration (not counting the next two weeks when the tree is still up and the music is still playing and the neighbors’ funny looks are ignored).

    I have a friend from the Dominican Republic. He played Christmas music all month. He says they don’t have Thanksgiving there, so it doesn’t make any sense to refrain from the Christmas spirit. I don’t have much of an argument against him, what with liking the holiday and all, but there are people who really hate it. They grumble in the grocery store and stop turning on their radios and feed their inner Scrooge until Christmas Eve. Maybe they’re a good enough reason to stop frolicking in the Christmas decorations and cut back on the holiday cheer. I mean, it’d be nice to keep my friends through the New Year. That’s why I joined Christmas Junkies Anonymous.

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